All the World is a Stage
by Worse than Duck Baby
Summary: When places in the game are switched, the outcome of the game is very interesting, indeed. AU in which Kira exists, but in a different way entirely.
1. Perfect Silence

_Hello! This is my first story I decided was good enough to post for the Death Note fandom. Therefore, the characters may be a bit OOC. The run on sentences and beige prose are intentional, I assure you. It will probably become non graphic yaoi at some point in the story, but I am uncertain of the pairings, so I won't incorporate them yet._

The boy was inexplicably pretty, too pretty for even a shinigami to ignore (the shinigami were not supposed to love or lust, so that situation was uncommon. Therefore, there were no gender barriers to be known of, there wouldn't be a point, and shinigami were literally and figuratively above humans in their pointless squabbles.) Gelus was very intrigued by the human, for the boy's beauty and intelligence matched no other ridiculously idiotic and ugly being. The shinigami watched the boy like a hawk, growing more and more fond of him every tenth of a second (a second wasn't enough, it was frequent, sure, but not frequent enough, and Gelus wanted to put his own spin on things, for the saying sounded somewhat cliché.) Yagami, on the exterior, was very social and warm and courteous but internally, the boy held a stone cold intelligence and attitude that made Gelus shiver with delight and reminded the shinigami of diamonds and Gelus loved diamonds because they were beautiful and Yagami was beautiful and Gelus wanted Yagami so bad and he wished he had sex organs but that was against shinigami rules but Gelus hated the shinigami rules but Gelus knew that it was good for the realm so he didn't speak of it like Yagami didn't speak of his boredom and damn it, Gelus wanted the boy so badly that it was interrupting his normally okay brain patterns.

Light was perfect. He was the very definition of perfect. When someone is too perfect, apparently, Gelus observed, humans get jealous. One day, when Light Yagami was walking home from school, four of his Latin classmates let their jealousy get a hold of them. Their leader was stalking him for approximately fifteen minutes, before Light passed by a dark alleyway. The leader shoved Light into the dark, narrow space, and held out their knife. He said many daunting and gloating words. Gelus immediately hated him, Light was meant to be untouched and perfect, a scar would be unfitting. Gelus, without thinking, began writing the name of the leader and their posse (who were waiting to jump in, but seemed to be unable to after the directions written in Gelus's notebook) in the death note, not even caring anymore as he turned into dust, with his annoying acquaintance Rem watching him in horror. More importantly, the boy's perfect face remained untouched. Gelus didn't care about anything else in his death, now the Light's life span exceeded 90 years, which was long for a human. Gelus did not, he told himself as his brain rotted away, die in vain.

Rem was disgusted. A shinigami is above humans, they should not die for a human's sake, it was abnormal and disgusting. Gelus, though, was Rem's best friend, on her side at least, so it didn't feel right to judge the other's decisions. Instead, as Rem was a somewhat intuitive and spontaneous being, she decided to do something she would never do in any other circumstance.

She dropped Gelus's notebook. It fell. Light picked it up. Rem came immediately. The seconds raced by. The boy would scream if he wasn't in public. He asked questions. Rem didn't respond. Light walked home, with the shinigami following him. Rem was silent.

_Please review! If you don't like it, don't sugarcoat it, please._


	2. Reflections and Rambling

_Thanks for the feedback! It is greatly appreciated~_

_Guest- I'm very happy that you are interested! I'd love to see you guess, so I could see if the story is too predictable or not. Thanks! I think the run-on sentences added plenty to Gelus's thought process in the short time he had to shine. X3_

_Kim- Thank you! I'm glad at least you think that the characters aren't as OOC. IF I do pairings, there would probably be some LightxL, but it wouldn't be too graphic. LightxMisa isn't my cup of tea, and by the way the story currently is in my head, it'd be very difficult to write. I assure you, the plot will not dissolve because of the pairings. There are some het pairings I'd incorporate as well. I do agree that there is no romance in the anime, and it is a valid argument, but romance would be great to get to know the characters._

Light, who had calmed down considerably, was now certain of two things. For one, he had not been seep deprived or daydreaming when he thought he saw a notebook falling from sky in class, it was indeed real. It may have been jumping to conclusions, but the black notebook he saw might have been the notebook that Kira acquired. If so, then Kira had to be on campus that day. It may not have been a student, but Light could no doubt review the security camera footage, for the passwords were weak, and Light had nothing but time.

First, however, he had to deal with his companion, who seemed uncomfortable, standing in the corner. He ought to ask the shinigami questions anyway, if he wanted to get anywhere, for the rules were not written in the book, nor had Rem, as she(?) called herself, hadn't told him anything but the basics. It was frustrating, and Light needed more information to pursue Kira without slipping up. According to what Rem had spoken of, a user had to have a name and face, they could use the notebook. However, according to L's findings, Kira only needed a name to kill. If so, Kira had to have found a way to find the name by looking at the face- it could quite possibly be material, but if it was, how would it be used? Light couldn't imagine it being a sketchbook or anything of the like. He would ask, though, after he had definite evidence; throwing the shinigami off would give him valuable information on how the shinigami acted when surprised, so he could have no surprises. The surprises, knowing how Kira could control his or her victims (he had hacked into his father's police account on multiple occasions), would be unpleasant.

Also, he had to investigate his classmates. If one was writing in a black notebook in class, he would surely notice, especially if said classmate had a shinigami, for Rem would notice, informing Light indirectly by her odd behavior. Once Light had identified Kira, he would have to think of a plan on the spot. If police records stated anything of importance, Kira was unpredictable and spontaneous, so Light would have to analyze the situation on the spot. If Kira found him out, he or she could quite possible see Light as a threat and eliminate him. To prevent this, Light would have to act with Kira or not meet Kira in the first place; If he could manipulate Kira, it was a whole different matter.

He decided to push the thoughts about the shinigami and scenarios out of his mind for the time being, instead opting to quickly and efficiently hack the security cameras. To do so without any unnecessary browsing, he calculated approximately where the notebook fell, after questioning Rem if the sizes or weights differed, and searched the footage for the exact date, place, and time frame. What he found was not of his liking.

First off, the entire area had one measly security camera, which was of poor quality, and had only about ten frames per second. Also, it was mildly crowded when the notebook vanished, so there were no definite body types or heights he could look out for, which was quite unnerving. It basically left him at square one.

Frustrated, he closed out of his computer and faced his shinigami. She was engaged In a horrible soap opera, and he decided to let her be, and tone out Hideki Ryuuga's annoyingly girly sounding voice.

_I decided that I will try to get to one thousand words, one chapter at a time. Meaning, every chapter I will try to add one hundred words to the previous length. That's why it's so short right now. XD_


	3. Subtitles

_Guest- No problem! I will usually update on the weekends, but it really isn't a schedule, it's only when I actually feel like typing._

_Kim- Well, that and LightxTakada, which is probably even less supported that SochiroxLight. Hm. _

_Okay, this chapter will set things off. _

Bad luck. Ha. Misa didn't have bad luck. Misa picked up the notebook that she deserved and got revenge on her father's killer. That was good luck. It was better than when Misa got scouted for modeling. Misa knew Ryuk agreed. When she asked, all he did was chuckle. Stupid Ryuk. Misa would smack him, but Misa knew that Ryuk wouldn't let her so Misa didn't.

Misa noticed that she was making annoying sounds with her en, so she stopped and huffed. L absolutely had to be killed. Misa couldn't figure out how L knew all about where she is and her estimated age. The only thing Misa knew is that L would be in her way. Well, if L could catch her first. Misa could find a way to stop L. Maybe making L get into crack would be fun. Misa snickered to herself, and headed out her door, to go to the supermarket. Misa was out of apples. Ryuk had to show her which ones were red because Misa's vision was only red, the only downside to having shinigami eyes.

DNDN

Light tapped his pen against his desk in a steady rythm

"Rem, is there a way to kill a person without a name, only a face?"

"…No. You can, however, trade for the shinigami eyes."

"What do they do?"

"Reveal a person's name by looking at their lifespan."

"What is the price?"

"Half your life."

Based on this new information, Light thought, Kira is an idiot. A spontaneous, dangerous, idiot that had too much power that they absolutely should not have. If course, Light shouldn't have the notebook either, but he wasn't using it, just making an effort to catch the person who does in large amounts. That justified it. Light needed the notebook to catch Kira, he would dispose of it afterwards. It was only right.

"Ah. Kira must have them, then."

Rem nodded, confirming Light's deductions. He frowned, and turned to his computer, opening up a word document, and started typing, making careful revisions, to make sure that it was effective enough. It seemed promising, so he got started on another task. He needed to seem reasonably frightening, so Kira would panic and do something rash.

DNDN

Misa was very pissed. The red apples were so expensive this week, but Ryuk just had to bug her to get them! In spite, Misa bought him the worst kind. Served that damn shinigami right.

She was about to check out, but the gross, battered, tv screen near the produce suddenly changed channel. Confused, Misa saw only a blank screen. The subtitles, however, were clear as day.

KIRA, I KNOW ALL ABOUT YOUR MURDER WEAPON AND ITS RULES.

…What? Misa did not remember sharing her notebook at all. She paused, bag of apples still in her hand, watching what was probably bluff. Stupid L and his stupid tricks.

L IS INCOMPETENT COMPARED TO ME. I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND BRING YOU TO JUSTICE.

N-no! This was bad! Someone else must've found a notebook like Misa did! Misa hoped they didn't have the eyes, it would take away her only advantage. Misa gritted her teeth and clenched her fists, basically turning two of the apples to mush, with their juice leaking out of the bag. Her eyes were panicked, scanning the screen for anything but those damn subtitles and blank coloring. None.

I DO NOT HAVE A WAY TO ASSURE YOU THAT THIS IS NOT BLUFF, FOR I AM NO IMBECILE THAT NOTES DOWN NAMES TO KILL. I HAVE MUCH MORE DIGNITY THAN THAT.

Shit! It wasn't bluff. Ryuk was cackling, and it was making it harder and harder to focus and Misa just couldn't take it. She'd yell at him, but she wouldn't want to appear crazy in public, her image would be tarnished, and she'd end up staring at white walls, white like this damn video. She wouldn't be able to kill the bad men that way!

TA TA FOR NOW. I WILL NOT EVEN PROVIDE YOU WITH A NAME, YOU'LL HAVE TO THINK OF THAT ON YOUR OWN.

The nerve-! Misa turned away from the screen, infuriated. She paid for the apples, and went back to her apartment and wrote down the names of fifty rapists.

_So, the caps lock probably annoyed you, I'm sorry. It annoys me too, when I have to read subtitles that way in restaurants. Ugh._


	4. Magazine Scraps

_Hey guys, sorry this chapter is super late, it's should've been done weeks and weeks ago. This chapter should be pretty good; it explains things and introduces a character you were probably waiting for._

_Merei-chan- Hey! I'm glad to have a new reviewer! Actually, yes, you did. (Not really, the reason for the random hiatus was a mixture of my father doing taxes, random plot bunnies taking up my time, and a temporary lost of inspiration due to me trying to think of a detailed plot.) Yep, Light's a good guy, and he's trying to catch Kira in his own way. The shinigami fit well, don't they? I noticed that while writing, but I don't really agree to Light and Rem having the advantage. Misa's recklessness got her the shinigami eyes, which could blow Light's cover at any time… My headcanon of Misa is that she is very intelligent; she's an actress, after all. This story is heavily headcanon based so…_

_Kim- Okay, good. If fanfiction allowed a different font, I would've done that instead… Yes, you were right. That chapter had too much typos, I guess I was excited for future ones while writing it. I fixed it. ^^'_

'There was no turning back now', Light thought as he heard his voice through the modifier onscreen. Rem, who was somewhat annoyed (but didn't show it) about her soap opera update being delayed, realized the importance of the situation and watched quietly, examining the screen like there was something besides #FFFFFF staring back at her. After the broadcast ended, she turned to Light, who seemed vaguely bored.

"Light, this is unlike you…" the white shinigami said worriedly. In return, she received a chuckle from the boy next to her, who apparently found the situation very amusing. "That's the point," he stated, playing with a highlighter on his desk, "Since L uses assumptions based on actions, I can disguise myself as a cocky bastard, and no one will know it's me. L won't expect someone who is anonymous to hide behind a mask. Kira certainly doesn't. I suppose it is a risk, though, because L is probably more intelligent than I am. If he meets me in person and knows that the broadcaster is me, he'd know I was acting and he'd interrogate me." Light smirked a bit, and took out his Death note, running his fingers over the cover, which felt like worn out cardboard.

The shinigami flicked the TV on to her favorite soap opera, one of the main characters were coming back to life. Light could hear Rem scoff at that, and watched her reactions to the pointless events on the screen. She appeared to find it revolting, but suffered the pain anyway. Turning the volume down, she asked Light in an unreadable tone, "Aren't you on L's side against Kira?" Light considered it for a moment, and frowned. "Yes and no. I don't like L's methods, he's a hypocrite. I will give him evidence and my suspect when I find him or her, because I can't do anything on my own, not really. And besides, it's amusing to have my own side for the time being, I wonder what L will name me. He surely will, if I keep driving him off the wall."

DNDN

550-100-1100 - Watari, bring me strawberry cake from the shop you are in.

550-101-0111 - I will be thirty minutes.

L huffed at the slowness of cake bakers, and put his prototype iphone down nest to his computer. The task force should have arrived already, and L wanted to impatient eat. The fact that he couldn't made him quite annoyed, but he chose not to dwell on it, instead, examining the video of a new third party. It was interesting enough, but he wasn't counting on them making another move for a while. That was probably a good thing for L, because he found the other party's personality to be quite interesting. It seemed to him quite a bit like Beyond Birthday.

As L was gazing intently at the screen, he heard a knock on the door. He walked over to it and opened it, greeted with the grinning face of Matsuda. "Matsui, you may have a seat over there. Where are the others?" the three most famous detectives asked, closing the door and getting a cup of tea for himself. "Oh, um, I think they're going to be here in about ten minutes. The director is flipping his lid." Matsuda said quickly, as he brushed the cookie crumbles off a seat so he could sit down without being very uncomfortable. "I assume it's because of the…letter?" L asked, not shocked in the least. Matsuda simply nodded, and sat down awkwardly.

The doorbell rang, Watari was back with cake.

DNDN

Light had to admit his method were rather crude, he was taking the childish façade a bit too far.

That didn't mean that writing the letter wasn't fun.

To do so, Light used the method from the moves; the magazine cut outs. It took forever, but the cliché was so amusing he almost broke out laughing. Being an actor had its perks, even without the money. He envisioned L's confused little face and snickered a bit. (Rem hadn't been informed of his grudge with L, but it was obvious enough not to bring it up. The situation wasn't really complicated, Light just wanted to help out with a case when he was thirteen, but his father came home and told him 'the boss' didn't want him to.)

Light made sure to be absolutely annoying by writing it in Latin. L could probably read it, but it was also a good enough challenge for maybe fifty seconds of thinking time. All in all, the letter was an absolutely amazing idea and Light would probably do more of them in the future, in different languages and maybe one in comic sans.

It was Light's own way of helping, after all.

_I just had a plot bunny. I may have to make a one shot._


	5. Hairnets

_Hey! I got this chapter done quicker than I expected, so I decided to update early. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews; I was really delighted when I got all that feedback! _

_Mirei-chan- Yeah, it definitely hurt his pride. There's another side to the situation, though. It suited him to be childish and in denial, it just…happened on its own. I won't bother translating the other languages, though; I've never been good at learning them. The idea of Rem and her soap opera came from my sister's recent hooking on General Hospital. It's my mom's fault. For Misa, intelligence and the shinigami eyes are a deadly combination, for sure. And don't worry about that, it won't be. I have some characters planned out to aid her, but not many. Personally, I had a shitload of standardized testing because apparently it's okay to torture eighth graders. Ugh. Thank you! Your reviews make mine~_

Misa was famous in the workroom for being very bad with colors. It wasn't her fault, really, it was the damn eyes. The model couldn't see colors except or a very bright and annoying shade of red, and strangely, an occasional bit of beige. The shinigami eyes were a double edged sword, they messed up her life, but if she just kept trying, pulling the metaphorical slot machine, she would find the person who humiliated her and crush their life to bits. She'd amuse Ryuk as a bonus, so she'd probably live a bit longer. Lately, the shinigami has been complaining about being bored, so she had to buy more red apples and cross her fingers so he wouldn't get bored of her. The camera clicked. Misa shifted to her next pose. Misa smiled.

Lately, she has been noticing how her thought patterns changed dramatically if she was actually trying. It was probably due to this that she wasn't fooled by Lind L. Tailor (well, she had thought he was L, but she saw his death date as the next day so left him be. There was absolutely no reason to create a martyr. ) Misa tapped the lipstick container on her lips. Click. Misa applied the lipstick. Another click.

She was quite aware of the gamble of the whole thing. It made being Kira all the more interesting, will she win or will she be put to death? Misa didn't care much either way. Her modeling and acting career was all a huge gamble anyway, she supposed that karma or something was making up to her for her parents' deaths. Nothing really could, but damn, at least it was trying. The camera clicked again. It was terrifying how much her demeanor had in common with Ryuk's, maybe that's why they fought (well fought may not be the right word) a lot.

Originally, Kira wasn't for entertainment purposes. Misa wanted revenge for her parent's untimely death. When she realized the Death Note's power, the name of the person she hated so much was scrawled across the page in messy handwriting. She felt so wonderful and giddy after forty seconds passed. Misa wanted to feel that again, and again, and again. Murders and rapists filled the pages faster that Misa could recall, and it felt absolutely amazing. Before she knew it, she had L after her. She was never so excited since her parents died, She'd make more girls like her happy, so they wouldn't have to suffer like she did. In a world where no girls were suffering, maybe then she'd feel less alone. Misa smiled. A few more clicks and praising words, then Misa was told to go home.

She bought apples and signed autographs along the way.

DNDN

Dearest L,

You are probably wondering who I am. If you aren't, I'd advise you do, because I'll be sending these letters before you find out. It'll be aggravating for me as well, Google translate doesn't have Hieroglyphics, and I'm too busy to learn.

I don't feel like giving you a hint, you can find me on your own. I wouldn't bother looking for DNA samples, I didn't seal the envelope with my spit, I wore gloves, and I used a hairnet, and took other precautions. You'd be wasting your time. I won't stop you though, that's all you're doing at the moment, anyway. You haven't caught Kira yet.

Since you're so incompetent, I'll give you a hint.

It takes forty seconds for a Kira kill to take effect.

Ta ta,

Nameless

DNDN

Sayu's brother was officially fucking awesome. Or rather, his friends were fucking awesome. It didn't matter either way; she had a soap opera buddy!

It happened by accident, of course. Sayu had suspected something to be off, Light started talking to himself a while ago, but he was so much smarter than her, so she just thought it was a genius thing or something. She realized it wasn't when Light left his door unlocked by accident. A black notebook was out, and Sayu went over to him to say hello. Light abruptly hid the notebook, but Sayu was quicker. "Hey Light! Is this a diary or something?", she asked, and despite her brother's protests, she flipped through it, finding nothing of interest. Sayu gave it back to him, mumbling something about her brother being boring so she couldn't talk about him. Light was quite obviously trying to keep his cool. Sayu could see his eye twitching.

There was a half finished Latin letter on his desk; Sayu was displeased because she couldn't read it. The letter was probably entertaining, and Light just had to write it in Latin! The nerve! Come to think of it, Light was wearing a hairnet and gloves; he looked like her lunch lady. The look didn't suit Light at all- so naturally, Sayu burst out into fits of laughter. Light crossed his arms and waited.

Sayu's laughter abruptly stopped when she saw a monster in the corner. She didn't scream, the thing looked kinda friendly-ish. It was watching Sayu's favorite soap. Sayu looked over, and saw a rerun. Sayu promised to not tell anyone about the situation, and started watching with Rem, discussing Hideki Ryuuga and the like. The creature was surprisingly good company.

Sachiko, meanwhile, wondered if something was wrong with her kids, who have started the habit of talking to the other end of the couch. She wondered if she was going insane.


	6. Hand Cramps

_Sorry for the short chapter! You guys are totally going to kill me~~~ And if not over this chapter, the next one! :D_

_So, uh, I'd like to ask all of you a favor. Pick a number, 1 or 2. is not fun enough._

_Mirei-chan: It was no problem at all! Actually, it helped me rethink the plot (which was left for the dogs at that moment). The soap opera buddy part was something I thank you for, and I'm glad I made you laugh! /(fake paragraph break)Yeah, poor Sachiko. It's sad, really. I don't know if the surveillance cameras are necessary or possible with the current plot, but I'll keep you updated./ I plan on revealing that soon enough, namely next chapter. With Light as a sibling, it's hard to say if she'd ask or not./ No problem! Thank you! Thanks for reading~_

_Guest: Thank you! (Heh, I like random questions, it's fine. I'll read Lightx basically anyone, but for the most part, I prefer Kira!LightxL and LxInnocent!Light, or the other way around. Other ships include Sayu and Matsuda on occasion, Hideki Ryuuga or Matsuda and Misa (the Hideki Ryuuga one is actually a thing somehow) and Naomi with Light or Beyond (I blame the Carnivorous Muffin).The Whammy's trio can do whatever they want, I am not interested in them much.)_

If Light knew that Kira was in Sayu's soap opera, he wouldn't be surprised in the slightest. Of course, he didn't know, for he didn't have the eyes. He cherished his life too much for that. Rem, for once in her grotesquely long life, wished he had made the deal. She was probably going soft, but she should've seen the possibility since she dropped it. It was hard to not feel a fondness for Light Yagami, he had this…elegance to him that was hard to compete with.

She saw Ryuk behind the actress the whole time. The shinigami at least had the brains to keep off camera while the drama was shooting, but in the autograph booth, he just stood there, laughing his head off. Rem sent him a glare, but that only made Ryuk laugh harder. Kira (Misa Amane, but Rem hated how nice on the tongue the same sounded) suspected something wrong and frowned at her shinigami, disguising her discomfort with "Ah, Misa's sorry, she was signing sooo many autographs that her hand bugged up!" The girl flexed her fingers and giggled.

By the look on his face, Light shared the distaste Rem had for her. Of course, it could be for the event itself (Rem couldn't understand autographs, it was just someone's name written by that person. She was also mature enough to know that the show was indeed stupid, but found herself not caring. Light was missing out; the show almost made Rem laugh if that was even possible, humans coming back to life? That was ridiculous-!)

Kira signed Sayu's DVD box set, smiling, but anxious and indecisive. Rem could tell. The girl's eyes revealed it; Rem was always good at reading human emotions, for better or for worse. Rem was the laughing stock of the shinigami realm for killing depressed and abused people to put them out of their misery. Rem had a heart. Surely it would be her downfall.

DNDN

Misa had expected something entirely different. She expected a middle aged man with a smirk and devious look who hated Kira because he was one of their targets.

Misa hated how wrong she was.

Standing before her, with a somewhat bored but amused look on his face, was a beautiful teen with a little sister he seemed to care for greatly. He was teasing Sayu affectionately and smiling and Misa missed smiling for real.

Misa couldn't take that away from this Yagami Sayu, she couldn't even try. The girl's smile was too innocent, her laugh was too cheerful. The actress remembered being like that, and she wished that her parents didn't get killed by that horrible, horrible man (Kira's first victim, he deserved it, he made Misa hurt) so she could be like that for her whole life, innocent and carefree, without any reason to use the notebook Misa had a love hate relationship with. (It was so, so addicting but it hurt Misa when a name was written down but there were bad men out there that had to die and Misa could do it Misa had to do it her parents would be proud because Misa was making a difference.)

Misa's heart would die again if she ruined Yagami Sayu's long life.

After complaining about a false hand cramp, Misa smiled and handed Sayu the boxed set, trying to ignore her shinigami who just wouldn't shut up. She considered smacking him or yelling at him, but she didn't want to look crazy in front of them, so she just settled on twitching in pent up frustration.

For the rest of the time, Misa forgot to make her signature as girly as she should have.

DNDN


End file.
